A Relationship is Not Like a Bank

I remember hearing, and even concurring, that a relationship is like a bank.  You put good in and build it up and then draw on it when times are tough.  But I recently realized that I do not think this analogy is a complete or even healthy one.  The realization came when I was feeling depleted and could not make a withdraw from the mythical bank account to which I had truly worked to add a wealth of good.  Firstly, my love is not currency to be earned, held, or saved such as the bank analogy implies. I feel love should come from an ability to flow by tapping into the Source that is available to us all. Also, the bank account analogy ignores the fact that something that was once good and working can shift towards bad and dysfunctional; something no amount of savings can help. Thirdly, a partner might make constant withdraws leaving us without a reserve when we need it too.

Instead, I like to think of my ability to perpetuate love in my relationship as an ocean who’s tide is subject to the moon, rolling in or out, yet ever present, vast, and endless. And just like the ocean, there is great depth, an abundance of life, and no defined shape to which the water must conform.

Mainly, I wanted to say, if you are finding your account depleted, please love yourself and know that it might not be your fault that the wealth of connection you once had is tapped out. A new way of love awaits you that is not contractual nor transactional. I hope that you find the person with whom love flows and no bank slip is needed.